Love or success? Why do managers have trouble finding a guy?21 Jun 2020
Attractive, educated, fun, with a career. And yet alone. Undoubtedly, you have at least one such woman in your neighborhood. Or maybe it’s even you … Why are today’s women often successful everywhere but in the love field?
At first glance, they look like they have fallen out of advertising for a happy life: they are beautiful, independent, have a great job, enough money to travel and enjoy life, whatever their throats want… But one thing they lack: a happy partnership.
Finding a man who would spend a few passionate evenings with them is not such a problem. But as soon as there is a danger that a non-binding date could turn into something more serious, the gentlemen take their feet on their shoulders. Why don’t so many women who look like the epitome of success and not find the right life partner?
For example, my friend, the 34-year-old doctor Petra. She is pretty, smart, kind, dedicated, sporty and men have always revolved around her. But…
“When I meet someone, everything is usually fine until I say what I’m doing. At that moment, the guys usually withdraw. As if they thought I wouldn’t mess with them as a doctor. But the reality is completely different! It doesn’t matter to me what kind of work he does or how much he earns, I want a normal guy next to me, with whom I will have common interests, you can talk to him and he will like me, “Petra desperates. By the way, she had her last serious relationship three years ago.
For many men today, it is simply an insurmountable problem to be less successful than a partner. Although many times they are not willing to admit it. These are usually those who have difficulty confidently.
The psychotherapist Lucie Svobodová also confirms that this is not a coincidence, who wrote in her rigorous work on the topic of deepening the crisis of male identity: guy. According to Ibiza escort, he must be successful, succeed in competition, be economically self-sufficient and, what’s more, take care of his family and partner.”
And he who is unable to fulfill these demands in his own eyes will simply find it difficult to bear a woman by his side, who will in principle be a mirror of his own incompetence. And if so, living with him will definitely not be anything that any of us would care about - sooner or later such an unbalanced yeshit will start to discharge his frustration with his partner.
“When I started dating Pavel, everything was great. But then, while cleaning, he found my paycheck and found that I made almost twice as much as he did. And he couldn’t put up with it. He said he wished me, but he could see how he ate. He kept talking about how unfair the world is when a girl - younger than he - makes so much money. When I wanted to go somewhere or go on vacation, he refused, saying that, unlike me, he did not have the money. So quite often it turned out that I paid for him to look somewhere. At the same time, he managed to be incredibly sarcastic and kept throwing my mistakes at me just to take away my self-confidence. For example, he rebuked me for not keeping my house tidy, forcing myself out of it when I didn’t know something, and so on.
As it turned out, I preferred to reduce my success at work in front of him and pretend that it was nothing, even though I was proud of my performance. But I was worried about how he would take it, and I wanted peace. When I got a bonus for a project, for example, I preferred to hide it from him. Not at all because I want to lie to him, but so that he doesn’t envy me and we don’t have a spoiled evening again, “confides manager Lucie, who ended up in this relationship for five long years. Surprisingly, in the end, it wasn’t she who ordered the breakup. Paul left her with the words that he did not feel like a man next to her.
In short, in order for a man to be a full-fledged partner to a woman who is successful, earns enough money, has her own opinions and is so independent that she can handle anything, she needs one thing above all: sufficient self-confidence. And then it will not matter what position which of them has or how many who land on their account each month.
But even if you meet such a guy, there is a certain pitfall. Lots of men capable and successful women impress until it imposes some restrictions on them.
“When I met Jirka, I felt great after a long time. He liked that I was successful at work and that I was not a gold digger - unlike those he had met so far. He runs a business himself and he is very well off financially. But we’re both very busy because of the work, and it turns out he’s just not used to adjusting - because he didn’t have to. In the end, our relationship erupted, “recalls her last affair, lawyer Eva.
The journalist Tereza experienced a similar scenario: “Lukáš found my work fascinating at first and he kept telling me how much he admired me. But it ceased to apply the moment I canceled our meeting due to an unexpected report and for a few days she couldn’t find time to see each other. So we broke up before we really started dating. ”
In short and well, it really seems that unfortunately even today many masters of creation think in the spirit of times long past - that is, let the lady realize and earn, but let her manage to prepare hot dinners, have a household as a key and be a charming companion whenever he zamane. They somehow don’t realize that they would be able to do such a thing on their own.
But it would be foolish to look for fault only on the other side of the “barricade.” In order for a woman to survive in today’s (still largely patriarchal) world, all she has to do is accept some of her qualities as typically masculine. But this easily goes to extremes: we are so independent and used to deciding everything that men often get a legitimate feeling that we just don’t need them. We are so afraid to show any weakness that we act like emotionless monsters or generals in the environment.
How to get out of it?
Let yourself be a woman, accept gallant gestures and enjoy them. Just because you do your job as well as any colleague (if not better) doesn’t mean you have to act like him. After all, feminism and emancipation are certainly not about erasing gender differences, but about equal opportunities. You don’t even have to decide everything in private and manage everything - after all, it’s a bit of a relief.
2x more divorces
“Women whose income is higher than their husband’s income divorce twice as often as those who earn less than he does,” Allan and Barbara Pease say in Why Men Want Sex and Women Need Love.
And then there’s another problem. Successful women are usually demanding - for themselves but also for others. They then develop demands on their potential partners that one person simply cannot contain.
Be careful, but it certainly doesn’t mean that you forget your requirements and jump into a relationship with the first “juda” that shows interest in you, just so that you are not alone. By no means! But sometimes it’s good to think if your dream partner isn’t really from the realm of dreams rather than flesh and blood.
After all, experts have even come up with a name for this phenomenon: Sex and the City Syndrome. Just remember Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte supporting themselves in a sense of their own uniqueness over a cocktail in the backdrop of a luxury bar and slandering guys who couldn’t meet their exaggerated demands.
However, thousands of such “exceptional” women in their thirties sit in bars around the world. Are they all so perfect as to enchant their dream lord? And speaking of this series, did you notice that the main protagonists did not find true love until they were relieved of their demands and sharpened their egos?